#It is raining today. (set: $time = 0)(set: $socialanx = 10)(set: $updress = 0)(set: $downdress = 0)(set: $shoes = 0)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
<img src="start.gif" class="imgcenter">
I think I will...
[[Stay in|stayin]]
[[Go to work|gowork]]
[[So what?|rain]]
<center>Para jogar em português, (link: "clique aqui")[ (gotoURL: "indexpt.html")].
A story by <a href=http://twitter.com/thaisweiller>Thais Weiller</a>
Art by <a href=http://twitter.com/amora_b>Amora B.</a>
Special thanks to <a href="https://twitter.com/saint11">Pedro Medeiros</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/luizhgama">Luiz Gama</a>.</center>
<div style="display: none;"><img src="!@#$" onerror="YouTubeTunes.play('J0rb56Wegq4');" /></div>I can't afford to lose another day of work. If I don't show up today or come up with a good excuse it will be withheld from my pay check.
<img src="stayIn.png" class="imgright">
(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{(if: (count: (history:), "gowork") is 0)[ [[And rent is due next week...|gowork]] ]
(else:)[ [[I should make some coffe and think things through|coffee]] ]}
[[They can't withhold my pay if I call in sick|sick]]
(set: $time to $time + 2)<img src="gowork.png" class="imgright">But I really don't want to. (set: $time to $time + 2)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{(if: (count: (history:), "stayin") is 0)[ [[So just stay in bed->stayin]] ]
(else:)[ [[So just stay in bed->inbed]] ]}
[[Maybe make some coffee, try to cheer up|bed]]
(set: $time to $time + 1)<img src="bed.png" class="imgright">
I tried to get out of bed but it was impossible.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
[[Try to make coffee again|coffee]]
[[I just should call in sick->sick]]
[[Play some 3DS->3ds]]
(if: $shower is 0)[ [[shower<-Maybe a shower first]] ]
(set: $time to $time + 5)<img src="rain.png" class="imgcenter">
I really love rainy days, they are a much welcomed break from the suffocating turmoil of the everyday life. Going to work on such lovely weather feels like a waste.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
Also, I have been growing tired of existing near other people. And work is full of people.
[[So what to do?|Start]]
[[What's the problem with other people?->people]]
[[I will play some 3DS->3ds]]
(set: $time to $time + 1)<img src="sick.png" class="imgright">
I could call in sick, I'm so sick of those people. (set: $time to $time + 2)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{(if: (count: (history:), "call") is 0)[ [[But I would need to call...|call]] ]
(else:)[ [[I am calling them now|calling]] ]}
{(if: (count: (history:), "people") is 0)[ [[Why I'm sick of them really?|people]]]
(else:)[ [[Let's make some coffee and think this through->bed]] ]}
Just the idea of ringing someone, hearing their voice in the speaker and having to answer back makes me want to throw up. I don't want to call.(set: $time to $time + 2)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 2)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
(if: (count: (history:), "call") > 0)[
If I don't call, they will not believe I'm sick and dock my pay anyway.
]
[[Call anyway->calling]] <img src="call.png" class="imgright">People at work are ok I guess.(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
They are not bad or anything but I have to concentrate so much only to appear normal to them. Talking is even worse, I have to carefully think every single sentence to say and then wait for the right cue to respond.
Sometimes, no matter how much I try I still feel I must sound awkward to them. Actually, most of the times.
I just don't have that much energy and today in particular I feel completely depleted.
I'm really not in the mood to deal with people right now.
[[So, call in sick?->sick]]
[[Nevermind, I will go back to bed|inbed]]
(set: $time to $time + 3)Who am I kidding? I'm not calling. (set: $time to $time + 2) (set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 3)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
<img src="calling.png" class="imgcenter">
[[Can I still be sick?->sick]](if: $shower is 0)[
[[shower<-Maybe a shower first]] ]
[[Just play with my cellphone instead->cellphone]] {(set: $coffee to $coffee + 1)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
(if: $coffee is 1)[
I made some coffee and just the smell of it made me feel better. Still, the soft hiss of the droplets splashing on the floor and the resulting gentle smell of freshness are calling me to stay under the sheets and read the whole morning.(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 2)
]
(if: $coffee is 2)[
Another cup of coffee makes everything better.
]
(if: $coffee > 2)[
The more, the better. Specially with coffee. (set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)
]}<img src="coffee.png" class="imgright">
[[inbed<-Go back to bed, I just can't deal with this day]]
[[cellphone<-Gain some courage wasting time on my cellphone]]
(if: $updress is 1 and $downdress is 1 and $shoes is 1)[ [[I feel better, I should get out->out]]
[[Actually I could walk to that book place, that will surely make me feel better->goingtobookstore]] ](else:)[[[Put some clothes on->dress]] ]
(set: $time to $time + 10)I got to the street level and I see my bus getting near! (if: $umbrella is 0)[But it is still raining and I forgot my umbrella.](print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
[[Enter bus, it is a small sprint until the stop|inbus]](if: $umbrella is 0)[
[[Go back up to get umbrella and come back->nobus]] ]
[[Crawl back to bed->sofa]]
(set: $time to $time + 2)<img src="bus.png" class="imgright">The bus just left. Life is awful, I am so useless I can't even be at the stop at the right time. (if: (count: (history:), "bus") is 1)[(set: $umbrella to 1) But at least I have my umbrella]
(set: $time to $time + 2 )(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 3)
(if: $socialanx < 22 )[ [[Wait for next bus|newbus]](if: $umbrella is 0)[
(link: "At least I should go up and get my umbrella")(set: $umbrella to 1)(set: $time to $time + 5)(goto: "newbus")] ](else:)[ [[Give up->endhome]] ]
[[Crawl back to bed|sofa]]
[[Die.|die]] (print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
<img src="noBus.png" class="imgright"><img src="inBus.png" class="imgcenter">
The bus is crowded and hot. All windows are closed because people don't want to get wet, making this human heat feel like a sauna.
My bed was warm and my pajamas were comfy, now I'm trapped with all these people. And my feet are wet. (set: $time to $time + 5)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
[[Endure->inbus02]]
[[I can still go back home->next stop]] After 20 minutes waiting, a new bus finally arrives.
[[Enter bus->inbus]]
(set: $time to $time + 20 )(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))I can see the rain from my bed. Droplets on the glass slowly zig zag down to certain obliteration. (set: $time to $time + 10)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 3)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx)) <img src="InBed.png" class="imgright">
I like that.
A faint joy irradiates inside me but I'm mostly feeling remorse from not doing my job.
(if: $socialanx > 15)[
I'm getting more and more anxious about leaving home. I think I just don't want to leave the house at all. Forever.
]
[[Coffee will uncloud my thoughts->bed]]
[[I should call someone and say I'm sick->calling]] (if: $socialanx > 17)[
[[endhome<-Give up and stay in ]] ]
(if: $updress is 1 and $downdress is 1 and $shoes is 1)[ [[Watch the droplets for a little longer->sleep]] ]<img src="die.png" class="imgcenter">
(set: $time to $time + 2)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 1)Just kidding. I can't do that now. I don't even have a razor on me.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
(if: $socialanx < 21)[ [[Wait for bus->newbus]]
[[Crawl back to bed->sofa]] ]
(else:)[ Still, my hands are trembling. [[I just can't go on like this. ->endgobackhome]]]
<img src="dress.png" class="imgright">
Everything in this wardrobe looks stupid.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
[[inbed<-I give up.]]
[[getdress<-Put something on already]]
[[Get my phone to unwind a little->cellphone]]
(set: $time to $time + 2)<img src="getDressed.png" class="imgcenter">
I hate everything in here.(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
(if: $updress is 0 or $downdress is 0)[ [[Put on this ridiculous red shirt|shirt]]
[[Get into those trashy jeans|jeans]]
[[Take that stupid short skirt|skirt]]
[[Pick up this silly yellow dress|ydress]]
[[Put on that pretentious tee|tee]]
[[Pick up this long patterned skirt|lskirt]]
[[This is exhausting, I'm going back to bed|inbed]]
](if: $updress is 1 and $downdress is 1 and $shoes is 0)[ <strike>[[Pick up this silly yellow dress|ydress]]</strike>, <strike>[[Put on this ridiculous red shirt|shirt]]
[[Get into those trashy jeans|jeans]]</strike>, <strike>[[Take that stupid short skirt|skirt]]</strike>, <strike>[[Put on that pretentious tee|tee]]</strike>, <strike>[[Pick up this long patterned skirt|lskirt]]</strike>
I guess I have enough clothing on already, what else should I put on...
[[Silly sneakers|sneaker]]
[[Stupid flower crown|flowerc]]
[[Hipster bow tie|tie]]
[[Ugly flats|flats]]
[[Cheap rings|ring]]
[[Scarf|scarf]]
[[This is exhausting, I'm going back to bed|inbed]]
](if: $updress is 1 and $downdress is 1 and $shoes is 1)[<strike>[[Pick up this silly yellow dress|ydress]]</strike>, <strike>[[Put on this ridiculous red shirt|shirt]]</strike>, <strike>[[Get into those trashy jeans|jeans]]</strike>, <strike>[[Take that stupid short skirt|skirt]]</strike>, <strike>[[Put on that pretentious tee|tee]]</strike>, <strike>[[Pick up this long patterned skirt|lskirt]]</strike>, <strike>[[Silly sneakers|sneaker]]</strike>, <strike>[[Stupid flower crown|flowerc]]</strike>, <strike>[[Hipster bow tie|tie]], [[Ugly flats|flats]]</strike>, <strike>[[Cheap rings|ring]]</strike>, <strike>[[Scarf|scarf]]</strike>
[[I guess I'm good. Let me just check the mirror|mirror]]
[[No, I'm not good|sofa]]
]
I'm currently wearing:
{(if: $updress is 0 and $downdress is 0)[Pijamas]
(if: $dress is 1)[Yellow dress]
(if: $shirt is 1)[Red Shirt]
(if: $tee is 1)[Misfits Shirt]
(if: $skirt is 1)[, Short Skirt]
(if: $lskirt is 1)[, Long Skirt]
(if: $jeans is 1)[, Old Jeans]
(if: $flats is 1)[, Black flats]
(if: $sneakers is 1)[, Sneakers]
(if: $ring is 1)[, Rings]
(if: $scarf is 1)[, Death Scarf]
(if: $fcrown is 1)[, Flower Crown]
(if: $tie is 1)[, Bow Tie]}
<img src="ydress.png" class="imgright">This dress is one million years old. I like it but can't pretend not to see it is older than sin.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{
(link: "Put it on")[(set: $dress to 1)
(if: $updress is 1)[(set: $tee to 0)(set: $shirt to 0)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)]
(if: $updress is 0)[(set: $updress to 1)]
(if: $downdress is 1)[(set: $jeans to 0)(set: $skirt to 0)(set: $lskirt to 0)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)]
(if: $downdress is 0)[(set: $downdress to 1)]
(set: $time to $time +4)(goto: "getdress")]}
[[Nevermind|getdress]]<img src="shirt.png" class="imgright">Just a red shirt, wrinkled as an elephant.
A red elephant would actually look better on me than this.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{
(link: "Put it on")[(set: $shirt to 1)
(if: $updress is 1)[(set: $tee to 0)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)]
(if: $updress is 0)[(set: $updress to 1)]
(if: $updress is 1 and $dress is 1)[(set: $dress to 0)(set: $downdress to 0)]
(set: $time to $time +4)(goto: "getdress")]}
[[Nevermind|getdress]]<img src="jeans.png" class="imgright">Someone should call Joe Ramone, he forgot these ridiculous jeans in my wardrobe. But I guess I have no other pants anyway.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{
(link: "Put it on")[(set: $jeans to 1)
(if: $downdress is 1)[(set: $skirt to 0)(set: $lskirt to 0)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)]
(if: $downdress is 0)[(set: $downdress to 1)]
(if: $downdress is 1 and $dress is 1)[(set: $dress to 0)(set: $updress to 0)]
(set: $time to $time +4)(goto: "getdress")]}
[[Nevermind|getdress]]<img src="skirt.png" class="imgright">Ugh, I will have to watch my moves to not lean down and show my ass in the office.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{
(link: "Put it on")[(set: $skirt to 1)
(if: $downdress is 1)[(set: $jeans to 0)(set: $lskirt to 0)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)]
(if: $downdress is 0)[(set: $downdress to 1)]
(if: $downdress is 1 and $dress is 1)[(set: $dress to 0)(set: $updress to 0)]
(set: $time to $time +4)(goto: "getdress")]}
[[Nevermind|getdress]]<img src="tee.png" class="imgright">Who still listens to The Misfits? Me, apparently. And this tee is the proof.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{
(link: "Put it on")[(set: $tee to 1)
(if: $updress is 1)[(set: $shirt to 0)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)]
(if: $updress is 0)[(set: $updress to 1)]
(if: $updress is 1 and $dress is 1)[(set: $dress to 0)(set: $downdress to 0)]
(set: $time to $time +4)(goto: "getdress")]}
[[Nevermind|getdress]]<img src="lskirt.png" class="imgright">Long skirt with flowers. Longer than my regrets. Sigh.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{
(link: "Put it on")[(set: $lskirt to 1)
(if: $downdress is 1)[(set: $skirt to 0)(set: $jeans to 0)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)]
(if: $downdress is 0)[(set: $downdress to 1)]
(if: $downdress is 1 and $dress is 1)[(set: $dress to 0)(set: $updress to 0)]
(set: $time to $time +4)(goto: "getdress")]}
[[Nevermind|getdress]]<img src="sneakers.png" class="imgright">Was it tie dye when I bought it? Anyway, it looks tie dye now.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{
(link: "Put it on")[(set: $sneakers to 1)(set: $flats to 0)(set: $shoes to 1)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)
(set: $time to $time +4)(goto: "getdress")]}
[[Nevermind|getdress]]<img src="flowerc.png" class="imgright">Is this flower crown too festive? Maybe it is too festive.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{
(link: "Put it on")[(set: $flowerc to 1)
(set: $time to $time +4)(goto: "getdress")(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 2)]
(else:)[(link: "Take it off")[(set: $flowerc to 0)(set: $time to $time +1)(goto: "getdress")] ]}
[[Nevermind|getdress]]<img src="tie.png" class="imgright"> I may look like a clown. A sad clown.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{
(if: $tie is 0)[
(link: "Put it on")[(set: $tie to 1)(set: $time to $time +4)(goto: "getdress")(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 3)]
]
(else:)[(link: "Take it off")[(set: $tie to 0)(set: $time to $time +1)(goto: "getdress") ] ] }
[[Nevermind|getdress]]<img src="flats.png" class="imgright">Black flats with some holes on its soles. (print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{
(link: "Put it on")[(set: $flats to 1)(set: $sneakers to 0)(set: $shoes to 1)
(set: $time to $time +4)(goto: "getdress")(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)]}
[[Nevermind|getdress]]<img src="ring.png" class="imgright">My fingers end up with a weird red shade after I take these rings off. But considering how much I paid for them I absolutely can't complain.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{(if: $ring is 0)[
(link: "Put it on")[(set: $ring to 1)
(set: $time to $time +4)(goto: "getdress")(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 2)] ]
(else:)[(link: "Take it off")[(set: $ring to 0)(set: $time to $time +1)(goto: "getdress")] ]}
[[Nevermind|getdress]]<img src="scarf.png" class="imgright">A black scarf that embraces me like black death.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
{
(if: $scarf is 0)[(link: "Put it on")[(set: $scarf to 1)
(set: $time to $time +2)(goto: "getdress")(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 2)] ]
(else:)[(link: "Take it off")[(set: $scarf to 0)(set: $time to $time +1)(goto: "getdress")] ]}
[[Nevermind|getdress]]I am an adult human being, dressed for getting my arse out but instead laid down on my bed. (print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
(set: $time to $time + 5)
[[Do something with my life|out]]
[[Maybe some coffee will help->coffee]]
[[The rain murmurs are calming my nerves->sleep]]
<img src="sofa.png" class="imgright">...
...
Oh fuck, did I just sleep?(set: $time to $time + 20)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 3)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
<img src="sleep.png" class="imgcenter">
[[I may stare at the ceiling until it changes colors and I gain some responsability|ceiling]]
[[I'm a mess, period|mess]]
[[More coffee will help->coffee]]Faint sun beams cross the blinder.
At this time, the sun should be much stronger. One more perk of a rainy day.
<img src="ceiling.png" class="imgcenter">
I love the patterns created by the blinder on the wall. Shiny, white stripes, indolently idle. They don't mean to be so purposeless, they just are.(set: $socialanx to it - 1)(set: $time to $time + 10)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
[[If I read a little I may feel better|read]]
(if: $socialanx < 20)[ [[I could read at the bookstore, it is on my way to work->goingtobookstore]] ]
I'm such a mess. I'm an excuse for an adult. I can't even keep my shit together.
(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 5)(set: $time to $time + 2)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
[[Call it a day, I give up going to work->endhome]]
(if: $socialanx < 22)[ [[Run to the bus stop, maybe there is still time->newbus]] ]
<img src="mess.png" class="imgcenter">(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))(if: $socialanx > 23)[(display: "endhome")]
(else:)[I'm actually out of the apartment.(if: (count: (history:), "shower") is 1)[(set: $umbrella to 1) <img src="out-umbrella.png" class="imgright">(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 3) And I even remembered it is raining and brought my umbrella.](else:)[<img src="out.png" class="imgright">(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 1)](if: $shoes is 0 and $updress is 0 and $downdress is 0)[ But in pajamas. Not smart.
[[Get dressed->getdress]]
[[Crawl back to bed->inbed]] ]
(if: $shoes is 1 and $updress is 1 and $downdress is 1)[{(if: $time < 40)[ [[Go wait for the bus->bus]] ]
(else:)[ [[Go wait for the bus->nobus]] ]}
[[Go back in|sofa]] ] ]
<div style="display: none;"><img src="!@#$" onerror="YouTubeTunes.play('IN3891Aqam4');" /></div>(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))It feels like as if tar was calmly filling up this room and I couldn't move. I'm not tied down, I just can't react. It is crawling up the wall, slowly but steady. High tar tide.
Tar is now on my chest and moving up but my legs wait. I can feel the goo against my neck and yet I can't convince myself to get up. Why should I?
I'm drowning and all I can do is hope it won't take too long.<img src="endHome.png" class="imgright">
##I'm too anxious and stressed to get out. I'm staying in and that's it.
###I slacked for (if: $time < 60)[$time minutes.](if: $time > 60 and < 120)[1 hour and (print: $time - 60) minutes.](if: $time > 119 and < 180)[2 hours and (print: $time - 120) minutes.](if: $time > 179 and < 240)[3 hours and (print: $time - 180) minutes.](if: $time > 239 and < 300)[4 hours and (print: $time - 240) minutes.](if: $time > 299 and < 360)[5 hours and (print: $time - 300) minutes.](if: $time > 359)[a lot.]
There are three other endings. [[Retry|Disclaimer]].<img src="mirror.png" class="imgcenter">
(either: "I look like a hippopotamus on her period.","I look stupid. No surprise there.","I look like a hairless rat.","I look like how parents describe the boogeyman to their kids.","I look like a sad clown.","I look like a dead person, only worse.")
[[I'm out anyway|out]]
[[Try to dress again->getdress]]
[[I can't->sofa]]
(set: $time to $time + 3)
(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 5)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))What should I read? Oh, I have like 40 books I bought and never read a line. I'm the worst meat bubble ever.(set: $time to $time + 2)(set: $socialanx to it + 4 )(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
<img src="read.png" class="imgcenter">
[[Call it a day, I give up going to work->endhome]]
[[If I have a cup of coffee I will feel better->coffee]] <img src="endBookstore.png" class="imgcenter">
(if: (count: (history:), "bookcoffee") > 1)[I feel so full and guilty and fat. I'm walking home.
]
Between ups and downs I end up passing too much time in the bookstore to the point where going to work is now useless.
I am the worst sort of human being, the one that was able to put oneself together to do something productive but instead ends up neglecting one's own purpose over ephemeral delights. (print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
##At least I think I learned something today: I can't trust myself, not even when I'm already out of the apartment.
###I slacked for (if: $time < 60)[$time minutes.](if: $time > 60 and < 120)[1 hour and (print: $time - 60) minutes.](if: $time > 119 and < 180)[2 hours and (print: $time - 120) minutes.](if: $time > 179 and < 240)[3 hours and (print: $time - 180) minutes.](if: $time > 239 and < 300)[4 hours and (print: $time - 240) minutes.](if: $time > 299 and < 360)[5 hours and (print: $time - 300) minutes.](if: $time > 359)[a lot.]
There are three other endings. [[Retry|Disclaimer]].I finally got to work. Life is awful and I am dead inside, but at least people think I'm working and I will be able to pay the rent.(if: (count: (history:), "cab02") is 1)[
I'm really hungry, but I spent a lot of money on the cab and might have to skip lunch. Again. Ugh.](print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))<img src="endWork.png" class="imgright">
###I'm (if: $time < 60)[$time minutes](if: $time > 60 and < 120)[1 hour and (print: $time - 60) minutes](if: $time > 119 and < 180)[2 hours and (print: $time - 120) minutes](if: $time > 179 and < 240)[3 hours and (print: $time - 180) minutes](if: $time > 239 and < 300)[4 hours and (print: $time - 240) minutes](if: $time > 299 and < 360)[5 hours and (print: $time - 300) minutes](if: $time > 359)[a lot] late.
There are three other endings. [[Retry|Disclaimer]].<img src="3ds.png" class="imgcenter">
(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))(if: $play < 3)[I don't feel like playing but I haven't finished this game yet. I stopped at a dreadful part that I wasn't able to beat.
](else:)[This game I'm playing is hard but I think I can beat it quickly now.]
(link: "Play it")[(set: $time to $time + 10)(set: $play to $play + 1)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx -2)(goto: "play3ds")]
[[I will play with my cellphone instead->cellphone]]
(if: $shower is 0)[ [[Actually, I should shower->shower]] ]
(set: $time to $time + 3)Oh, I'm also standing up since there are no empty seats, the driver seems to think he is acting in Speed, and there are five other passengers squeezing me from all sides. Have I mentioned it is so hot there is condensation on the windows?
<img src="inbus02.png" class="imgcenter">
This isn't the Titanic car scene, condensation does not belong on windows.
(set: $time to $time + 5)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 2)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
[[I can do this->inbus03]]
[[Actually, I can't->next stop]](if: $umbrella is 0)[(set: $time to $time + 20)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx +2) What have I done? I don't have my Umbrella and it is raining like hell.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
[[Just wait a new bus, everything will be fine->inbus04]]
[[I can't do this.->endgobackhome]]
[[Go to the store, get new clothes and maybe an umbrella.->store]] ]
(else:)[(set: $time to $time + 10)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx +3) What have I done? I was alreay on my way and just gave up? Like that? For no reason? What's wrong with me?
[[Just wait a new bus, everything will be fine->inbus04]]
[[Take a cab, I will lose money but gain sanity->cab]]
[[I can't do this.->endgobackhome]] ]
(set: $time to $time + 2)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 3)The bus has halted. The driver is saying the bus is broken or something and that another one is coming soon.
Everyone is getting out of it because it is really hot in here and it kinda smells like smoke and diesel now. There is no cover against the rain nowhere near. (if: $umbrella is 0)[And I don't have my umbrella.](print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
<img src="inBus03.png" class="imgcenter">
[[Wait for new bus in the rain->inbus04]]
[[Take a cab, I will lose money but gain sanity->cab]]
[[I give up, today is not my day and I'm going home->endgobackhome]]
[[There is a book store I love not far from here. I can wait there and read a little->bookstore01]]<img src="cellphone.png" class="imgcenter">
My cellphone has 33 notifications. (set: $time to $time + 1)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 2)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
Oh shit.
I need to get my life back together.
[[But I can't->inbed]]
[[Play some 3DS instead->play3ds]]
(if: $updress is 1 and $downdress is 1 and $shoes is 1)[ [[Maybe I can just try to relax...->sleep]] ](print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))(if: $socialanx > 19)[(display: "endhome")](else:)[{
(if: $play < 2)[Damn, I don't remeber this being this hard. At least it was fun! I should try again, beating this thing would be a nice motivator to get out of the bed. (set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 1)<img src="play3DS.png" class="imgright">]
(if: $play < 3 and > 1)[Hmmm, that was challenging. I think I'm almost there. Maybe just one more time... <img src="play3DS-2.png" class="imgright">]
(if: $play > 2)[(if: (either: 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13) is 0)[ ##I can't believe it! I did it! I feel so much better. I definitely [[should get dressed|dress]] (set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 4)<img src="play3DS-4.png" class="imgright">]
(else:)[(either: "I hate this thing.", "Why?", "This game is unfair! I was obviously right.", "I don't want to play it anymore.", "Why do I keep playing this buggy game?", "This is stupid.","I can't do this anymore.", "This is hopeless.")
(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + (either: 0, 1, 2, 3)) <img src="play3DS-3.png" class="imgright">]]}
(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
(link: "Play again!")[(set: $time to $time + 4)(set: $play to $play + 1)(goto: "play3ds")]
[[I should drink some coffee instead->bed]]
(if: $socialanx > 15)[[[I should just give up hope->inbed]] ] ]Finally a new bus arrives and I get in. (if: $umbrella is 0)[ (set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 3) And I'm soaking wet. Everyone can see how pathetic I am, I look like a rat crawling out of the sewer. At least no one can tell I'm crying with that much water on all of us.
] Good news is, most people gave up and here I am, sitting on an almost empty bus. (set: $time to $time + 15)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
<img src="inbus04.png" class="imgright">
15 minutes later, I'm downtown.
(if: $socialanx < 28)[ [[Go to work directly->street]]
](else:)[ I can't go to work. Not now, not when I'm that nervous.
][[Unwind this frustrating ride at the bookstore first->bookstore01]]
(if: $umbrella is 0)[ [[Buy new clothes to not look like this->store]] ]So lucky, there was a cab passing by me just at the time I got off the bus, I didn't get wet. I'm sitting down for the first time since I left home and it feels warm and cozy. The driver seems ok, he barely speaks and pretends I don't exist which is the best quality any driver can ever have. But as soon as he turns into the avenue, there is a terrible traffic jam.
Oh boy, I think this ride will take a while and I will be late. And poor. But at least not completely wet. (set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1 )(set: $time to $time + 10)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx)) <img src="cab.png" class="imgright">
[[Continue->cab02]](print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))(set: $bookstore to 1)I got to the store. (if: $umbrella is 0)[ (set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1) And I look like a cat who fell into a bathtub. Depressing sight. I hope they don't kick me out for representing imminent danger to paper integrity.
](else:)[(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 2)] Oh, there are some interesting books on German Expressionism right there!
<img src="bookStore.png" class="imgcenter">
[[Who cares?->booksad]]
[[Gimme->germans]]
<div style="display: none;"><img src="!@#$" onerror="YouTubeTunes.play('BOdLmxy06H0');" /></div><img src="street.png" class="imgright">(if: (count: (history:), "cab02") is 1 and (count: (history:), "cab03") is 0)[Ohh Gee, have to walk all that much... And I'm so hungry, but no money left.
(set: $time to $time + 10)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 2)Anyways,]I'm in front of the office bulding now. (set: $time to $time + 2)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
(if: $socialanx < 30 )[ [[Get in->endwork]] ](else:)[When I think about getting in I feel as if my feet are cemented in the sidewalk. I can't bring myselft to get in right now.
]
(if: $bookstore is 0)[ [[Actually, I could unwind for a while at the bookstore->bookstore01]] ]
[[Nope, going back home->endgobackhome]]I'm at a fast fashion store. Everything is either ugly or too expensive to be disposable.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
(link: "Just get anything cheap and thus ugly")[(set: $socialanx to $socialanx -1)(goto: "endwork")]
(link: "Just get anything decent and thus expensive")[(set: $socialanx to $socialanx -3)(goto: "endwork")]
[[Is it too late to go back home?->endgobackhome]]
<img src="store.png" class="imgright"><img src="cab02.png" class="imgcenter">
(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 2 )(set: $time to $time + 10)This traffic, it never ends. Taximeter is way over the money I had to eat today.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
[[At least I'm dry in here->cab03]]
(if: $umbrella is 1)[ [[Get out and walk to work->street]] ]Ok, I'm close enough now and the traffic is not moving at all. I'm getting down and walking from here.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
<img src="cab03.png" class="imgcenter">
[[Go to work directly->street]]
[[Unwind this frustrating ride at the bookstore first->bookstore01]] <img src="endGoBackHome.png" class="imgcenter">
I got out alright, but I'm not anywhere close to doing anything productive.
I just can't deal with anything today and I'm not in the mood to even try. Anything makes me feel like garbage and everything triggers anxiety. I can't exist in the outdoors. I'm an empty eggshell that will get shattered.(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
##I might just drop dead in my bed.
###I slacked for (if: $time < 60)[$time minutes.](if: $time > 60 and < 120)[1 hour and (print: $time - 60) minutes.](if: $time > 119 and < 180)[2 hours and (print: $time - 120) minutes.](if: $time > 179 and < 240)[3 hours and (print: $time - 180) minutes.](if: $time > 239 and < 300)[4 hours and (print: $time - 240) minutes.](if: $time > 299 and < 360)[5 hours and (print: $time - 300) minutes.](if: $time > 359)[a lot.]
There are three other endings. [[Retry->Disclaimer]].I'm such a loser liking these stupid books. I should probably just grab the first book I see and let my mind go. (set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 2).(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
<img src="booksad.png" class="imgright">
[[Get the red cover book->bookred]]
[[Get the blue cover book->bookblue]]
(if: $food < 2)[ [[I'm actually quite hungry->bookcoffee]] ]<img src="germans.png" class="imgright">These are some beautiful screens from Metropolis. Oh, they come directly from the acetate. Composition is amazing. I really love how they convey so much meaning just by placing elements on the canvas. (set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 2)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
[[Ok that's enough->booksad]]
[[More->lang]]
[[Do I smell coffee?->bookcoffee]]<img src="lang.png" class="imgcenter">(set: $time to $time + 5)
Lang was truly a visionary but Thea von Harbou was a genius. Oh, Lang started making movies when he was 27, but Thea wrote her first book when she was 17. I'm older than both and I don't even know if I can make it to work today. (set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 3)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
I don't even know if I'm in the right area of trade. I am not sure I like what I do. I have no love in what I do neither desire to continue. I have never created something that could be considered relevant, by other humans or myself. I have accomplished nothing of artistic value and I am not proud of anything I was ever part of.
I am mediocre. At best.
(if: $socialanx >23)[ [[Ok, that's it.->endgobackhome]] ](else:)[ [[Enough reading, let's get some coffee->bookcoffee]]
[[Pick up another book->booksad]]
[[That's enough, let's go to work->street]] ]{
(if: $espresso is 0 and $food is 0)[What I also love about this bookstore is the charming cafe they have inside. An espresso will calm my nerves.]
(if: $espresso is 1 and $food is 0)[(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 1)(set: $impatience to $impatience - 2)Hmmm, that was good. But I guess I'm getting hungry. Oh, that's right, I haven't eaten anything today yet.]
(if: $food is 1)[(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 1)(set: $impatience to $impatience - 2)I'm feeling better. Should I eat something else?]
(if: $food is 2)[(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)(set: $impatience to $impatience + 3)Nom nom nom.]
(if: $food is 3)[(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)(set: $impatience to $impatience + 3)I love food and food loves me.]
(if: $food is 4)[(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)(set: $impatience to $impatience + 3)I can't possible...]
(if: $food > 4)[(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)(set: $impatience to $impatience + 3)Oh fuck]
}(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
<img src="bookcoffee.png" class="imgright">
(if: $food < 5)[(link: "Espresso, please")[(set: $time to $time + 5)(set: $espresso to $espresso + 1)(goto: "bookcoffee")]
(link: "Apple pie, please")[(set: $time to $time + 5)(set: $food to $food + 1)(goto: "bookcoffee")]
(link: "Are those cinnamon rolls?")[(set: $time to $time + 5)(set: $food to $food + 1)(goto: "bookcoffee")]
(link: "Ham sandwich, please")[(set: $time to $time + 5)(set: $food to $food + 1)(goto: "bookcoffee")]
(link: "Omelette, please")[(set: $time to $time + 5)(set: $food to $food + 1)(goto: "bookcoffee")]
(link: "Panini, please")[(set: $food to $food + 1)(set: $time to $time + 5)(goto: "bookcoffee")]
(link: "Honey cake, please")[(set: $food to $food + 1)(set: $time to $time + 5)(goto: "bookcoffee")]
[[Get back to read->booksad]]
[[Maybe go to work now->street]] ]
(else:)[(goto: "endbookstore")]This is a Sylvia Plath poem book.
<img src="bookred.png" class="imgcenter">
**...**
*These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,
Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.
The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut
As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.
Dying
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call. *
Sylvia Plath was about my age when she killed herself... And she was already an accomplished poet.
(set: $time to $time + 7)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 1)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
(if: (count: (history:), "bookblue") is 0)[[[Read the blue book instead->bookblue]] ]
[[Go to work->street]]
(else:)[[[Can't think any longer, I will just look to art books->endbookstore]] ]This is *The Modern Prometheus* by Mary Shelley.
<img src="bookblue.png" class="imgcenter">
*Oh! No mortal could support the horror of that countenance. A mummy again endued with animation could not be so hideous as that wretch. I had gazed on him while unfinished; he was ugly then, but when those muscles and joints were rendered capable of motion, it became a thing such as even Dante could not have conceived.*
This book is actually much more well known by the name of the protagonist, Frankenstein, which was never attributted to its creature in the book.
Mary Shelley was 21 when she published this book. Gosh.(set: $time to $time + 7)(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 2)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
(if: $impatience < 15)[(if: (count: (history:), "bookred") is 0)[[[Read the red book instead->bookred]] ]
[[Get myself together and go to work->street]] ]
(else:)[[[No no no, I won't do this again. I will drown myself in comic books instead->endbookstore]] ]
This hot water flowing down my meat prision is all I need to feel better.(set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 8)(set: $shower to 1)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))
Or maybe not.
<img src="shower.png" class="imgcenter">
Everything is just so overwhelming.
There are people that are much worse off than me, still I don't feel apt to deal with anything now. I can't deal with my job. I can't deal with getting out. I can't even take care of myself, it took me $time minutes to actually get out of bed.
Actually, [[I don't even feel apt to shower->shower02]].(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 9)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx)) (set: $time to $time + 10) Ok, now I'm sitting on the floor while the contained rain falling on my skin drains me away until nothing is left.
I am nothing, I'm minuscule.
<img src="shower02.png" class="imgright">
I'm a spec in this whole complex universe, a spec that doesn't matter and no one will miss.
My insignificance is soothing.
Maybe I can stand up now.
[[There, there. Now go get dressed.->getdress]]
[[Get some coffee first->coffee]] (set: $time to $time + 10)(if: $socialanx > 23)[(display: "endhome")]
(else:)[I'm actually out of the apartment.
(if: (count: (history:), "shower") is 1)[(set: $umbrella to 1)]
But it is quite a walk until the bookstore.(if: $umbrella is 1)[<img src="out-umbrella.png" class="imgright"> Good thing I remembered it is raining and brought my umbrella.(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 2)
[[Keep going|goingtobookstore02]]
[[Take a nap and try again later|sofa]]
[[Nope.|endhome]]
](else:)[<img src="out.png" class="imgright"> And I'm such a dumbshit that I forgot my umbrella.
(link: "I should at least go up and get my umbrella")[(set: $umbrella to 1)(set: $time to $time + 5)(goto: "goingtobookstore02")(set: $socialanx to $socialanx +2)]
[[Run to the store anyway|goingtobookstore02]]
[[Take a nap and try again later|sofa]]
[[I give up on all this|endhome]] ]
](print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))(set: $socialanx to $socialanx - 1)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))(set: $time to $time + 10)
Blurred silhouettes of different hues pass by me. They seem to fear that the rain drops are going to erase them from existence, so they have to make haste on their paths.
It doesn't matter, their destinations are as much of a blur as their shapes.
(if: $umbrella is 0)[ It is a pitty that they look at me as if I am the first wet fish to crawl out of the ocean. (set: $socialanx to $socialanx + 2)
[[Go to the store, get new clothes and maybe an umbrella.->store]] ]
[[Don't give up|bookstore01]]
(if: $socialanx < 18)[ (link: "I'm good, I could go to work right now")[(goto: "street")(set: $time to $time +10)] ](set: $socialanx to 10)(print: window.setBackgroundColor($socialanx))Being anxious is a serious matter. This game aims to illustrate how anxiety and other psychological conditions can get into the way of a happy life.
If you or someone you know deal with similar issues as the protagonist don't take it lightly and please talk with someone about it.
If you need someone to listen to you right now, give <a href="http://www.7cups.com/">7 cups of tea</a> a try but please don't hesitate to seek professional help if you think you need it.
(link: "Play again")[ (gotoURL: "index.html") ]
Fonts used:
* Reenie Beanie
* Cabin Sketch
* Nothing You Could Do
* Rock Salt
<div style="display: none;"><img src="!@#$" onerror="YouTubeTunes.play('lOt_3tg83Ls');" /></div>
